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Function Got Back

by Anon | LCHS Student

I like deriving and I can not lie

You other students can’t deny

That when a function walks in with a cube and a square

And Rolle’s Theorem in your face

You are done, take a break and get sun

‘Cause you notice that equation was undefined

The quadratic formula is scary

I’m tired but I can’t stop taring

Oh baby, I wanna just solve you

And take your second derivative too

Mr. Perea tried to warn me

But Calc A/B is oh so cherry

Ooh, Rump-o’-curve-sketching

You say you wanna get in my interval?

Well, use me, use me

Graphing calculators aren’t your average groupie

I’ve seen them graphin’

To hell with Brad’s mental math

Chain rule, Product rule, Quotient rule

Got it goin’ like a turbo

I’m tired of optimization

Sayin’ arc length is the thing

Take the average junior and ask him that

If the trapezoidal rule will hold him back

So, Minimums! (Yeah!) Maximums! (Yeah!)

Has your theorem got the mean value? (Hell yeah!)

Tell ’em to N-Derive it! (N-Derive it!) N-Derive it! (N-Derive it!)

Solve for that healthy X!

Function got back!

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